Remember when Renewal Ramona called Bethenny Frankel Jill Zarin‘s charity case? Bah! Life is so poetic. Ramona’s skated by despite her Grigio-induced quip, but Jill is biting down on something hard these days.
Bethenny has the baby, the man and the career, and she has no idea what to do with it. If only Jill Zarin were able to leech on to Bethenny’s success, then she’d be able to offer clarity in a world full of 12-inch waistlines and size G bubbies. “My Gahhhd,” she’d say in horror at the sight of Bethenny’s bobble-headed frame. “Whaddya doin’ not eating? You got a husband and a child needing your attention! Bahbby, did you see Bethenny?” To which Bobby would say, “Oh yes. She looks marvelous. Everybody looks wonderful.”
If not for Jason Hoppy, we might not have been able to handle Ms. Frankel on her own. She’s a spitfire, that Bethenny. But Hoppy offers a much-needed balance to her incessant one-liners. That Jason, he is a KEEPER. And the apple doth not fall from the tree, because Jason’s parents are ten times cuter than their prize-winning son. Then we have the blessed child, who I’d pay good money to see spit up on Andy Cohen.
Notes from the premiere:
Did we need that gratuitous shot of Bethenny shirtless at the bra store? Did I need that after skipping the treadie to watch crappy television? Now I’ll never be a teen model..
Why bring the dog to Pennsylvania? It’s such a long journey and the car will continue to smell like wet dog and poop long after Cookie has flown the coop (so much oop).
Jason: “Farts are funny.” Had that statement come out of anyone else’s mouth, I would have rolled my eyes. Coming from Jason, it sounds downright adorable.
Finally, the New York crew arrives in Hazelton, PA to visit Jason’s parents. They’re so perfect. They are in such awe of Bethenny’s fame and want nothing more than to please her all day, every day. Naturally, Bethenny takes this opportunity to be frigid towards them. I understand that Bethenny is broken from her sordid parental past, but Jason’s parents only want to be as involved in Brynn’s life as most grandparents hope to be. Bethenny shouldn’t have been as blunt with Jason’s parents as she was last night. They’re so nice. Stop being so mean to them.
We also had the good fortune of meeting Jason’s friend, Brian. Check out Brian’s hair ‘do. He was going for Bon Jovi, but I’m thinking he looks more like Larry Birkhead. Brian drove 120 miles to Philly for that wig.
Scenes from Capri
Bethenny: “Jason, this is, like, from a movie.”
Jason: “I’m hammered.”
Image via Bravo TV
