It was a feeble attempt to take down Serena Van Der Bubbies last night, and Vanessa was at the helm.  Much like Chuck Bass did to Dan Humphrey, Serena’s very presence on earth drove Vanessa to go to great lengths in search of the truth.  Even if clearing her own name meant losing friends (I use that term loosely, as Blair doesn’t acknowledge Vanessa’s presence, Chuck and Serena don’t even know her name, and Nate just feels bad for the commune girl. Plus he boned her once upon a time).  Something inside Vanessa snapped between the scene of her unfortunate mishap and last night’s episode.  The commune did her no good.  Vanessa is a woman scorned, and will join Juliet in the fight against Van Der Bubbies.  Take no prisoners. The bitch must be brought down. And am I missing something? I know Jenny Humphrey (who resembles Madame Death herself more and more each episode we see her) hates Blair, but does she have so much against Serena that she’s willing to join evil gothic forces with Juliet?  Vanessa, you need a therapist.

While Eric Was At Weslyan With His Abensentee Mother

Serena would be conceited (and dumb) enough to barrel into Blair’s room while she’s otherwise engaged with a Bass in her bed to talk about herself. Mememememe.

What did Ben do? Someone had better tell us soon what Ben did.

“What if someone sees?” “You don’t like that anymore?”

Why was Colin‘s head so far out of the cab window after he dropped off Van Der Bubbies?  Is he a secret tourist?

Blair customized her key with a strand of pearls. How very Waldorf.

“And what if I need sex rehab, like Jesse James?”

“Hurry. There’s a Bass on the lose and it’s hungry.”

Poor Dan Humphrey.  Van Der Bubbies invited him all the way to the ballet from Brooklyn as her second bananas date.  What a bitch.  Humphrey stood there like a drooling buffoon while Serena pretended to look like a lost gazelle by the fountain.  To think, he gave up Grimaldi’s for a night with THAT.

Why do the students (even the insanely rich ones) always have such easy access to the Dean of Columbia?  I only saw my college President in print.

“Juliet, I don’t like tattletales much more than I like young women who use their sexuality to further their academic careers.” Ziiing.  One thousand points for the Dean.

I’m really into the shark circle the UES band has created around Juliet.  Ya’ll should move that shark circle to Vanessa.  That bitch is crazier than a handful of rabid goats on a commune.  In Vermont!

Only Serena would break it off with a guy who gave up teaching at an Ivy League school because she was “running away from someone.”  After all that work, and all that planning, and all of those secrets. And that sh*tfit she threw after Humphrey told her that Colin needed to do more to show his love for her boobs.  After all was said and done, Serena finally decided that she didn’t feel like it.  She is so very lucky she’s pretty.

Who should Serena choose to be with: Nate or Dan?

Bass and Waldorf lava each other. Together forever!