So my cousin had to walk me through Caroline’s transition because I never have the wherewithall to put two and two together: Caroline had Damon‘s blood in her when Katherine killed her, ergo she is now a vampire.  Dios Mio!  Now she’s awake in the hospital asking all sorts of questions and craving blood.  The poor thing is so confused and the nurse on duty is not being very supportive.  Hello!  The sheriff’s daughter suffered a trauma! The least you could do is be nice and provide her with a pint of blood or so.   Suck it down, Caroline.  Treat it like a Ssips juice box.

Bonnie is really chappin’ my ass.  She’s sad and angry and  hell-bent on destroying the vampires.

When Stefan applies his daily four or so pounds of man-makeup, how many compacts does he go through?  Doesn’t he know how to blend yet?

“Aren’t you worried one day all the forest animals are going to band together and fight back?”

It’s amazing how becoming a vampire is a natural process.  You compel your victim, and then you bite them in the correct area of the neck without any sort of training or guidance.

The Witch and the Carney: A Love Story

“My Husband Likes To Get Kinky” Hah! Caroline.  Even as a vampire, you haven’t lost your touch.  You’re going to have a lot of fun with this new life.

I think Damon’s a little threatened that the Lockwoods might be just as strong and scary as the Salvatores.  They’re werewolves.  How hard is this to figure out? Hello! I’ve read Twilight!

Damon doesn’t know that Caroline is now a vamp, thanks to Katherine.  Payback’s a bitch, studmuffin.  She remembers all the terrible things you did to her.  Now she’s strong and irritated.

Yup.  Drifter Lockwood and Tyler are werewolves.  You can see it in thine eyes!

“Why did I just do that?”


“Because Katherine is a manipulative, nasty little slut.”

The carney is just NOT having a good night.  First he’s compelled to fight Tyler Lockwood so that Damon can figure out what Tyler is (and the saddest part is that Damon doesn’t even stick around for the fight). THEN Caroline takes a big ole’ bit out of his neck while he’s trying to stop his nose from bleeding.   And now he’s dead.  Bonnie’s prom date is dead.

My heart can’t stop breaking for Matt. Matt who’s been taken for a chump the past year.  Matt who still holds a candle for Elena.  Matt who love vampire Caroline!

Bless Stefan’s for walking a frightened Caroline through the first stages of being a vampire.  He’s such a great guy, promising Caroline he won’t let anything happen to her.

Bonnie’s nose is running and it’s grossing me out.  I know I should be focusing on the awful thing she’s doing to Damon, but I can’t stop staring at her runny nose.  Gag me.

We’re going to need more information on that magic rock Tyler’s hiding beneath the oriental rug.  Does it belong to Spencer Pratt?

Figures that Matt would fall in love with Caroline the moment she becomes a vampire.  Caroline, please don’t bite his neck.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Remember what Stefan told you.  Matt lavas you!

Bless Stefan’s heart.  I want a boy like him to compell a security guard so he could smooch me on the ferris wheel. SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.

Sh*t’s about to get reaaaaalll complicated for the people of Mystic Falls. 

I was lucky enough to get my hands on some behind-the-scenes photos from this episode.  TY CW!

images via CW/NYCPhotos.net