image via beckhamgroupie.com

Victoria Beckham is SO THIN.  Love the color of that dress, though, and glad to have you back on Idol.  Listen to the Spice Girl.  She knoweth what she talketh about. Zigga Zig Ahhhhh.

Mario has a long green coat and pants that need to be hemmed.  Poor thing has a nervous laugh that Simon can’t stop making fun of.

Kids who aren’t cute: the booger who needed five takes to say “My mom is the next American Idol.”

“Off you go.  Celebrate.”  Single mom is going to Hollywood.  Leave the rugrat at home. 

Danielle is wearing way too much silver, but sister took it home with “I’m The Only One.”  Preach it like ya teach it!  Simon wants Danielle to be allowed to be who she should be.  Free to be you and me! American Idol is there to save Danielle from a life of shotgun weddings and dollar draft Wednesdays.  It’s possible! 

Where do the producers find the sad-sack stories?  And how many times do we have to wait as the subject stares out the window set against depressing music and Seacrest’s overture?

Simon and I both agree that fawning over a child’s drawings is a huge waste of time.  Nevertheless, Simon needs to pull in a solid following for his next venture, so…let the gremlin shower us with her art.

Enough auditions.  Where the sod is Ellen?