Idol auditions-Night Two. This time it’s Orlando, land of Mickey Mouse and wishing upon a star. Last night it was Hotlanta.

Florida. Such a special place. Chock full of trailer parks and retirement homes. Yayyyy.

The judges (correction- Simon, Randy and Seacrest) hopped a pj (private plane) from Miami where they took a “Break” from all the judging. Tough life, rolling in all that dirty US currency.

Kristin Chenoweth is a guest judge!

Hey! Who’s the guy in the cape and glittery face paint? There are mirrors on his face! I hope no one tries to strike him near the eye. Poor thing will go blind as a bat. His name is Theo.

Simon’s facial expressions during bad auditions are some that I would like to capture on my new Nano. Just to play back to myself for a morning giggle. ILYSC.

Look at Seacrest trying to grow a five o’clock shadow. That must have taken weeks to acheive.

Kristin Chenoweth is such a ball of sunshine. No wonder Kara loves “girl time” with her. Even at the expense of Simon. Bless their hearts.

Shelby is so good! I hope she makes it far on American Idol. Nothin’s holding this gal back! Shelby’s going to Hollywood!

I don’t love the beat-boxer, and he’s making Simon twitch. So, it’s a no from me. But, Randy gave him a golden ticket and now Seacrest is being picked up by his overzealous friend.

How about that pant-splitter? I need an ice pack after seeing that.

It’s amazing how Idol does a segment on certain people, just as a teaser. And it’s a toss-up as to who’s the joke and who actually has pipes. Meet Jarrod. Jarrod’s bad. Very bad. And weird. “What was that?”-Kara. Jarrod can’t believe she said that. “Are you serious?” It’s always a pleasure to have the bad singers start up again after the judgers have said “no.” No means no. No means know when it comes to drinking and driving, and no means no when it comes to American Idol.

Jarrod gets escorted, cuffed and taken away.

*Pregnant Pause*

“Yes or No.” Oh Simon. Simon. You are so perfect. So perfect in every imaginable way.