Nowhere are emotions more potent and untamed than at the Jersey Shore. For here, men and women are free to be themselves. “Come as you are,” is the motto the good folks in Seaside Heights seem to be proclaiming. Unfortunately the rest of us treat them as a science experiment. Remember how fun it was to watch the beakers blow up? That’s kind of what watching this show is like. Horsie go boom.
After a hard night of dancing, fighting, accusing, crying, then hugging, it looks like Sammi and Ronnie are official. Sammi is Ronnie‘s girl and nothing’s gonna stop them now. Ronnie broke his rule and fell in love at the Jersey Shore. Yes, children. There is a Santa Claus, and there is such a thing as love at the Jersey Shore.
“I thought the Jersey shore was the best thing that happened to me. But YOU are.”
Waaaaay on the other end of the “Smush” train are Pauly D and Mike, “The Situation.” Dirtbags are dirtbags are dirtbags and I would be lying if I said these two make “slummin’ it” look good. Listen up, ladies. We’ve all been there. Some of us just had higher standards, even with eight Natty Lights in us.
“I’m hookin’ up with my girl, Pauly’s hookin’ up with his girl and, uh, we’re gonna have sex. That’s the situation.”
Snookie-Love. Need. Want your white hair clip. I will use my $5.00 coupon from Duane Reade.
“I’m like, chill out, freckles mcgee.”
Bod body spray is all over this series like Mike on some girl at last call.
“Yeah, we smushed.”
I think Vinny‘s pretty much over it. He had to excuse himself from the barber shop banter.
Snookie’s gymnastics-and-more routine at Karma required a two-drink minimum. First prize: a pair of shoes for that dirty-ass dance-floor.
Who loves house music? These kids love house music!
I’m fortunate enough to know some real-life class-acts. Below are viewers reactions. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Sharpae: Should we discuss that Pauly D and the Situation are guys that I would def hang out with?
Blaine: We are better looking.
Man-Boobs: I must admit that last nights episode definitely made me relive some good times… And I would definitely share some bro-love with those two.
Bobert: how small and close were these beds in that room? That was awesome.
Sharpae: lets be honest i feel like we pulled better-looking girls than they do… I mean those girls were not hot last night.
Man-Boobs: Dude I hooked up with an amazonian wild hog…. We did the same thing they did, whatever was around.
Bobert: The best-looking girl was the one they kicked out.
Nip: I would’ve jumped on that grenade.
Man-Boobs: I’m laughing my ass of at Barstool (sports) post right now about putting that chick on suicide watch today… Could you imagine watching yourself being described as a “grenade?”
And there you have it. Enough nonsense to make you want to get your ovaries removed.
“Ready chief?”
“In the f*ckin’ zone.”
for your records:
1. I will jump on any grenade: big or small, tiny or tall
2. the slashes are the Nyquil, jennifer. maybe if you throw some slashes in your sh*t, I'd throw a ring on your finger. (all my single ladies)
3. WHO WANTS TO F*CKING BATTLE ON THE F*CKING DANCE FLOOR?!?!?
I'm obsessed with the fashion on the show. Where do they find that with all the slashes? I'm proudly from New Jersey and never wore anything remotely like that. I do like going to those clubs though. Unch Unch music.
That Blaine character seemed pretty cool. I bet he could make a wolverine purr.