“From Serena to Georgina? Quite a fall, even for you.”-Blair.

Georgina is being so seductive and it’s gross. Please don’t hook up with her again, Dan. Please.

So what, pray tell, does Serena do with her days now that she is a woman of the city and not a student of the Ivy?

Serena, you just told Dan to “button up.” Pot? This is kettle. You are black.

Carter looks like a cross between a bug and a frog. And yet…I’m strangely attracted to him.

Vanessa smells a rat. Her shrimpy boyfriend, Scott, doth not metriculate at NYU.

Where do these children learn the art of seduction? Food, chefs, trench coats, lingerie. What happened to walking without dignity to some guy’s room, hooking up, then leaving in his sweatpants to cry into a nonfat latte? Hello college? This is Team Brenda. Your accuracy is shoddy. Fix it. Now.

Did anyone else see Georgina lean in very far to kiss Dan? Almost like a stretchy-stretch.

Nice 2001 cell phone, Serena. Can you text Gossip Girl on that rotary piece?

Ughh Gahhhd Brie Buckley Biddle and Nate. Most boring couple on The CW.

Does Vanessa have a single? Why?

Holy tight-skanky-eighties-coke dress Serena. And did you even bother to wash your hair? Hah! Did you see the way Blair gave her dress the subtle stink eye/head shake?

Kids with money, bidding on silly Patrick McMullen photos. What a scene.

“Did someone say food? I’m starving.” You’re hungry in THAT dress, Serena? Hungry for food or hungry for the night?

Chuck in a bowtie: He look-a like he’s playing dress-up. Did you pick that outfit all by yourself?

Thankfully Brie has something interesting up her sleeve and a big ole bone to pick with Carter. Old money runs deep, eh old boy?