Heidi Montag‘s performance tonight on the Miss Universe pageant was so horrendous, they had to supplement it with images of the contestants. Two very important things that were wrong:
1) Heidi‘s dance steps were half a second faster than her dancer, preventing synchronization.
2) Rotten nude sparkly get-up. You’re like a fake Britney a la 2000 MTV VMA Awards. At least Britney compensated with a killer outfit, shoes that matched, and actual dance moves. You looked ridiculous!
Fortunately for the universe, we only had to endure about 20 seconds of Heidi’s nonsense. Don’t do this to us ever again, Universe Pageant committee. We’re all just trying to enjoy our summer in these trying times.
Would you like to see real talent? Click here. Heidi Montag, no matter what, no matter how, you will NEVER EVER EVER in your lifetime be what Britney Spears is. NEVER!
