I like Lisa. I think she’s legit despite what Kim’s squawking.

Kandi’s new single, “I Fly Above All The Drama,” is a bit too covered in queso for my liking, especially since it was inspired by Kim. Drop Kim. She adds nothing. Just because she shares your sign doth not mean you can be besties for life.

Speak of the devil. Here comes Kim, in head-to-toe white stepping out of a white Rover. Matchy matchy. Looking for a way to latch on to the grammy winner, Kim asks Kandi when her birthday is. Magical findings: they’re two days apart. At Kandi’s suggestion of a joint party, Kim says “I was going to do a party in Asia.” A birthday party for yourself in Asia? As in the continent? How the hell do you expect to get people to come to your party in Asia?

Kim wants Kandi to produce “Tardy for the party.” I love that Kim won’t sing it for Kandi upon request. Go ahead, Kim. Sing it. Take a moment in the bathroom to warm up. That’s weird. You can’t sing it? But you’ll get Kandi a copy ASAP? Sounds great.

I would like to participate in a “alter ego” shoot with Derek Blanks. My alter ego is…nevermind.

Lisa invited NeNe to Los Angeles for her grandmother’s ninety-second birthday. So off they go to El Lay. Room at the Chamberlain West Hollywod? Check. New gay friend? Checkeroo. Little gay man, did you really need a pair of nail clippers, or did you just want face time on Bravo? Be honest or no “miss thang” for you.

Goodness gracious, are Lisa’s parents the cutest things you’ve ever seen? They reside in an adorable house in Inglewood, CA. Lisa got a gangsta background but seems to present herself rather well. Don’t push a sister, though. ‘Cause she’ll flip you over the couch. For real.

Sheree is planning a fashion show and some PR agency approached her with sponsors (Mercedes Benz and Tiffany). This makes me so angry! You don’t draw and you don’t sew. You just look at sketches and demand that the actual designer change it. That way it you can claim some sort of participation. So now that Sheree got Mercedes Benz to sponsor her event, she wants to be picked up in a Maybach and draped in Tiffany. The PR agency made no promises. They soon realized the hole they dug for themselves. Sheree took a mile when they had given her an inch.

Nene thought everyone on Rodeo Drive looked ” Very rich. Clean. Like they didn’t need a bath.” Interesting observation there, soldier.

Totes McGotes digging the close-up on Lisa’s prom pic. Loooong metallic navy nails. And a poofster navy dress. Shiny to the maximum.

Nene and Lisa are all about sunglasses indoors this episode. If I wore sunglasses into my mother’s house, she’d call me a weirdo and demand I take them off.

Once again Sheree is over-exuding the confidence. Look at her sashay like an a**hole into the casting. Sheree’s looking for “Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell-esque.” I’m no casting director, but I don’t think Sheree should be the last word on these auditions. Does she have any experience? This is just making me so angers. She expected runway models but “that’s not what came.” Sheree is trying to play it cool after her outburst with Mr. Independence party, but woman needs models, damn it!

Kim-keep talking smack about everyone on camera. No wonder Nene tried to choke you. But don’t worry, everyone. Kim brought a copy of “Tardy To The Party” to woo Kandi with at dinner. I smell a hit.

Where are the O.C. Housewives? I’m tired to listening to woman talk about their fashion line launches/record deals. The only one I don’t mind listening to is Kandi because she was a singer/producer before the circus came to town.

By the by, Kim Zolciak’s “Tardy For the Party” comes out this Thursday, September 3rd. But I have a treat. I found the jam on Imeem. It’s techno-crap at it’s worst. My bleeding ears!