Say what you will, cynics. I read Twilight and it was good. I read the next four books in the series, and they too were a force to be reckoned with. Then I saw the movie three times and tried to pass each visit to the theatre off as A) Slumdog Millionaire B) Man on Wire C) High School Musical 3. But I can’t hide anything from you, readers. For you are my faithful followers. And to you I must show myself. If Edward Cullen is a vampire, then to the dark side I shall cross. One issue: Did anyone else feel a bit off in the young-adult section? Even the self-help aisle would have saved you a few stares from the Barnes & Nobles employees. Thankfully they showcased the entire series so it looked like I was picking up a book about Obama, when really I was dumping collector’s editions and The Twilight Saga: The Official Guide into my cart (I should have just gone to Amazon). So now I have not one but two things to clap for. The Twilight dvd comes out March 21st (jam-packed with the shiniest of extras including music videos from the motion picture soundtrack, extended scenes, deleted scenes, extra trailers and more). Magic. PURE MAGIC. I hear you laughing, Courtney.

Second thing to clap for: While reading my version of the New York Times, I came across a maravillosa picture of Edward Cullen in New Moon, the second book in the Twilight series. Mr. Perez can’t confirm whether or not this is the official image, but who the eff cares? Cripes almighty, look at that vampire. No wonder I’m not in a relationship with a human. Why have the salad when you can have the Kobe burger, even if it bites and kills you? Playah, please.